Welcome to Van Ryan Therapies

How to Find Yourself Again

On the surface it seems an odd idea that you could actually be anything other than who you really are. But from the time when we can hear ourselves talk, we can sometimes tell that we’re being programmed to “fit in”. We find ourselves conforming in order to please the people we love, and who love us. But sometimes that means that you have to suppress who you know is the real person inside.
And yet, your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you’ll ever have. Without a healthy relationship with yourself, it’s practically impossible to have healthy relationships with anyone else. If you’re ready to get reacquainted with someone you haven’t seen in a while, yourself? Start with these four simple ideas to help you rediscover the real you. 


Quiet the noise in your head


We all know that annoying little voice! The one that is always nagging us to do something. "dont forget to wash that, talk to the school teacher, juggle the bills, schedule the vet, keep the boss happy. With all that noise going on, you can very quickly lose track of what is really important. This MUST be the first step. How do you do that? By setting up systems, simplifying, and establishing enough extras in your life to allow you to operate from a position of abundance, instead of a lack of.


Practice thinking about yourself in healthy ways


In order to do that, you must first believe that you are valuable, and your Real Self has something to offer the world. Since you talk to yourself more than everyone else in your life combined --that’s a lot of talk!—it’s up to YOU to establish healthy communication in your thinking. Consciously listen to how you talk to yourself; write down the unhealthy things you say; challenge them; and replace them with facts. Self-Talk: “You never do anything right.” Challenge: “Of course I do things right. I did (example) right. I did (example) right. This time, I just made a mistake. I’ll learn from it and have better success next time.”


Listen to your heart


Sounds easy enough, but by the time we’re adults, most of us have stopped listening to our hearts and go only with our heads. Those two must reconnect in order to nd your real self. It’s easy to become accustomed to thinking about your feelings instead of really feeling them.
Instead of asking yourself what you think about something, ask why it’s important. 


Be careful not to get hung-up on a specific goal


What you’re really after is a feeling -- respect, love, appreciation - as opposed to the company car, or a great guy/girl. Keep an open mind to the feelings, and be willing to adjust the methods you use to achieve them. Determine not just your goals, but how it satises who you really are.
The mask will come off and your real self will come shining through. A person you can know and love - you! - is waiting for you to take the time to listen and understand and accept. When you accept your Real Self again, you'll make smarter choices, and those choices will stick because they actually t who you are. Now, that's what you're really looking for, isn't it?

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"I love each and every part of me"

~You~